Oct 17 2010
Hair Spectral info here
The pump always clogs and you have to clear it out, and yes it makes you smell like squirrel piss.
I’m trying to write a novel, is this Chapter good?
Tell me if it’s good but try to keep down the criticism I’m very sensitive.The Dreams and the Rose of Heather DormeurPrologue: Heather Dormeur the Angel on Earth Heather was a young and very gracious, beautiful, and kindhearted girl. She had radiant blonde hair the glimmered in the sunlight. Her skin was lightly tanned and her eyes were gorgeous pools of water that brightened the dullest of windows. She was an intellectual girl as well, very popular and well liked by everyone. She was asked out to dates several times by every boy in her school. She also helped out at the animal center and donated to the local orphanage every week. She was just an angel that flew from heaven to bring splendor and optimism into the dreary and cruel planet known as Earth. Maybe she was, but we will never know. Chapter 1 “Honey, wake up, wake up!” Mrs. Dormeur said with a gentle voice.Heather woke up with a long and lethargic yawn that signified her long, deep sleep. She wasn’t a morning person at all; she referred to mornings as a guillotine that cuts off sleep and relaxation. Yet, with a reluctant sigh she got up. “Mom, do I have to get up at six in the morning! School isn’t for another like two hours!” She said with a voice that made her seem like she was about to die a painful death. Her mother said not a word for two hours. This perplexed her. “Mom you ready to drive me to school?” “You’re not going to school today hon’.” “Why today is Friday right? I also don’t recall today being a holiday, and today is supposed to clear up later today.” “You’re not going to school because we are going to a funeral today.” “Whose funeral is it?”The room was silent for a few minutes, and Mrs. Dormeur started to cry her eyes out, and with eyes filled with tears and her voice gasping for air. She said “Your father’s funeral.” Heather’s heart fell, it seemed like it wasn’t a heart, just an empty black hole with nothing but pain, fear, and gloom trapped inside. Heather didn’t believe this was true. Her mom had taken acting classes, and she had seen her act she was quite exceptional. “Okay mom nice trick but I don’t believe you.” She said with a skeptical tone. “It’s true Heather, its true.” She said still sobbing. “He never came home last night, I got a call from the police yesterday night saying that he had died when a careless driver crashed into him making him swirl off the highway and fall into the river and he drowned…” Heather was in absolute shock. She couldn’t hold back the tears and she sobbed and mourned the loss of her dad. Never did she think this would happen. With frail and sorrowful hearts they got in the car after on a stormy morning in April. The road seemed like an interminable, for the drive was dull and the day was a drowsy one in which someone could just fall asleep and dream… Heather had found herself in a cell with bright and vivid images of her father, these pictures showed all their good times together, at the bake sale in 4th grade. There was also a picture of him teaching her how to swim when she was four. The picture of him teaching her how to ride a bike was also there. So many pictures from her younger years and they all made her heart fill with bliss yet suddenly they spontaneously combusted into small sparkling specks of the pictures. Heather cried once this had happened, yet the pieces formed together and turned into a spectral form of what looked like her father. Heather looked up in amazement Hair Spectral at the brilliant figure. He wore a robe of fine white silk and gold, his face was hidden behind a veil. Heather was in total awe! She could not move a muscle in her body. With a very harsh and brutal voice he said, “Heather… my lovely Heather.” Heather couldn’t help but feel discomfort. He continued saying, “Heather I have to tell you a secret, which has condemned me from the very day you were born.” He took a small pause and silence came over the cell, it deeply disturbed Heather and gave her goose bumps. In a scream that was filled with hatred he yelled, “I hated you I always have, I always will! You were such a burden to grow up. Always asking questions and wanting to learn things! It annoyed and tortured me in the very pit of my soul! Yet that is not why I loathed you.” Heather was completely paralyzed. He continued “I was thinking of killing you at the peak of your life. I had planned to right after the day of my death!” He carefully lifted his veil and under it was a blue and lifeless face filled with anger and rage. “I had died because god protected you; god loved you and hated me that is why I loathed you because you were too perfect too much of an angel. I could see it I our eyes the day you were born.” The cells just shattered into darkness. Heather ran while all the memories of her dad, which were all around her, were being consumed by the encroaching darkness. Heather’s father yelled, “You can not escape death! Oh no never can you! I wish I could’ve ended your life but the cruel tortures of humanity and life will devour your being and turn it into nothing! NOTHING!” The darkness was coming for her catching up… When suddenly she heard a voice… “Heather Dormeur! Wake up! Wake up we’re here!” Heather woke up with her eyes wide open and a face that looked bleak and pale. “Honey are you okay?” Mrs. Dormeur asked. “Ya mom I’m okay I just had this nightmare.” Heather said with a somnolent and a slightly fearful voice. “You sure, your face is really pale and…” “Don’t worry mom, I just got a little car sick… That’s all” “Okay then lets go get ready in the bathroom”Heather was thought about the dream she had of her father, she was very confused and a stormy cloud of melancholy, hatred, and guilt came over her. She had never thought her father had that of her this way. As she got out of the she had noticed that they were at a very old cemetery. The tombstones were covered in this grotesque mold that had grown and the stones looked like mounds of pebbles glued together. The dirt was more like sand, to the touch it was very soft to the touch but very hard to grab. She had entered the convenience store on the other side of the street after seeing where the funeral would take place. She disliked wearing mourning outfits just for the fact that they were only back and so sad to look at, a whole group would just make her cry at the spot. She went back to the cemetery and saw that all of the family on her dad’s side was there. There many that looked depressed naturally, stressed out, there were some plump and slender ones they looked like a very odd bunch of people who you would never guess them to be related. Heather was not paying attention to them though, her mother was greeting them, and she could not help but only look at a picture of her father and feel a lot of displeasure, hatred and love for the man. As she was walking in the funeral service which was in a beautiful garden in the very back of the garden, it was the exact opposite of the cemetery for it flourished with beauty and liveliness, and was trimmed with beautiful flowers such as petunias daffodils and a variety of roses and in the very distant corner there was this pitch black rose in which stuck out but with its distant location no one had noticed, except for Heather. This rose seemed to have been grown in hell for its stem was withered brown and yet the flower itself didn’t fall. The petals were twisted and deformed and there were only about 13 petals and they each had a taint of red on them. The withered stem had exactly 666 miniature thorns which Heather was shocked when she saw it. It was also quite tall and it’s fragrant smelled of a rotting lamb carcass. This rose had an ominous feeling about it, it left the atmosphere around it filled with discomfort, depression, guilt, envy, and other emotions that made a heart blemish its state of contentment. Heather marveled by this mysterious black rose decided it to pick it from the spot and keep it in her coat. A microphone had gone on and old man who looked like the Pope withblack lustrous said. ”We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Lukas Derek Dormeur.” Everyone there turned to a podium in which the man was talking. “Does anybody have a few words to say?” He asked. Mrs. Dormeur went up to the podium and said, “My husband was a great man who lived life without any regrets. He loved everyone he has ever known and showed us what he could do, what his dreams were, he inspired us with persevering to the end and teaching us great lessons about life and how to reach happiness and to maintain it.” Mrs. Dormeur then just crying after the period, she looked like she lost something precious to her, she lost her love and her soul mate. Heather felt that all she said about him was true but it was merely a curtain covering the devil that stayed sanctioned behind a form of what seemed to be her caring father. It was all a cover-up he was a man whose life had been driven by killing those chosen by god to have a life of perfection. She could not help feel the same emotions she felt earlier, she was confused on why she felt like this. Heather was an age that would be ready to be released into the world, she didn’t understand, she was feeling a mixture of pain, sorrow, guilt, and detestation, while the body was put in the soil to rest forevermore. After the service there was some food under a tent of smooth silken fabric. It had pervaded throughout the entire cemetery and the entire area was under a veil of light. Heather in her state of depression and rage could not help but release it. She pushed tables on to the ground smashed glass plates and stomped the food. She ripped off the veil and took a lighter from a man who was smoking outside and burned the entire veil. Finally, Heather had dug up her father grave with her bare hands and burned coffin and his body was burned right there. People panicked as the veil was falling down in flames. Heather just ran, ran as far as she possibly could away from the giant pile of flames in which people were trapped under. She heard screams and cries for help, but Heather could not but just stare and think of the thought that the demon which was her father was exterminated forever, and the memory of him will be long forgotten. She could not help but laugh a maniacal laugh that plagued the air with death. Heather knew this was arson, genocide and many more crimes so she kept running after that brief pause. She never looked back and she just kept running to a future that was untold.
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Tell me if it’s good but try to keep down the criticism I’m very sensitive.The Dreams and the Rose of Heather DormeurPrologue: Heather Dormeur the Angel on Earth Heather was a young and very gracious, beautiful, and kindhearted girl. She had radiant blonde hair the glimmered in the sunlight. Her skin was lightly tanned and her eyes were gorgeous pools of water that brightened the dullest of windows. She was an intellectual girl as well, very popular and well liked by everyone. She was asked out to dates several times by every boy in her school. She also helped out at the animal center and donated to the local orphanage every week. She was just an angel that flew from heaven to bring splendor and optimism into the dreary and cruel planet known as Earth. Maybe she was, but we will never know. Chapter 1 “Honey, wake up, wake up!” Mrs. Dormeur said with a gentle voice.Heather woke up with a long and lethargic yawn that signified her long, deep sleep. She wasn’t a morning person at all; she referred to mornings as a guillotine that cuts off sleep and relaxation. Yet, with a reluctant sigh she got up. “Mom, do I have to get up at six in the morning! School isn’t for another like two hours!” She said with a voice that made her seem like she was about to die a painful death. Her mother said not a word for two hours. This perplexed her. “Mom you ready to drive me to school?” “You’re not going to school today hon’.” “Why today is Friday right? I also don’t recall today being a holiday, and today is supposed to clear up later today.” “You’re not going to school because we are going to a funeral today.” “Whose funeral is it?”The room was silent for a few minutes, and Mrs. Dormeur started to cry her eyes out, and with eyes filled with tears and her voice gasping for air. She said “Your father’s funeral.” Heather’s heart fell, it seemed like it wasn’t a heart, just an empty black hole with nothing but pain, fear, and gloom trapped inside. Heather didn’t believe this was true. Her mom had taken acting classes, and she had seen her act she was quite exceptional. “Okay mom nice trick but I don’t believe you.” She said with a skeptical tone. “It’s true Heather, its true.” She said still sobbing. “He never came home last night, I got a call from the police yesterday night saying that he had died when a careless driver crashed into him making him swirl off the highway and fall into the river and he drowned…” Heather was in absolute shock. She couldn’t hold back the tears and she sobbed and mourned the loss of her dad. Never did she think this would happen. With frail and sorrowful hearts they got in the car after on a stormy morning in April. The road seemed like an interminable, for the drive was dull and the day was a drowsy one in which someone could just fall asleep and dream… Heather had found herself in a cell with bright and vivid images of her father, these pictures showed all their good times together, at the bake sale in 4th grade. There was also a picture of him teaching her how to swim when she was four. The picture of him teaching her how to ride a bike was also there. So many pictures from her younger years and they all made her heart fill with bliss yet suddenly they spontaneously combusted into small sparkling specks of the pictures. Heather cried once this had happened, yet the pieces formed together and turned into a spectral form of what looked like her father. Heather looked up in amazement Hair Spectral at the brilliant figure. He wore a robe of fine white silk and gold, his face was hidden behind a veil. Heather was in total awe! She could not move a muscle in her body. With a very harsh and brutal voice he said, “Heather… my lovely Heather.” Heather couldn’t help but feel discomfort. He continued saying, “Heather I have to tell you a secret, which has condemned me from the very day you were born.” He took a small pause and silence came over the cell, it deeply disturbed Heather and gave her goose bumps. In a scream that was filled with hatred he yelled, “I hated you I always have, I always will! You were such a burden to grow up. Always asking questions and wanting to learn things! It annoyed and tortured me in the very pit of my soul! Yet that is not why I loathed you.” Heather was completely paralyzed. He continued “I was thinking of killing you at the peak of your life. I had planned to right after the day of my death!” He carefully lifted his veil and under it was a blue and lifeless face filled with anger and rage. “I had died because god protected you; god loved you and hated me that is why I loathed you because you were too perfect too much of an angel. I could see it I our eyes the day you were born.” The cells just shattered into darkness. Heather ran while all the memories of her dad, which were all around her, were being consumed by the encroaching darkness. Heather’s father yelled, “You can not escape death! Oh no never can you! I wish I could’ve ended your life but the cruel tortures of humanity and life will devour your being and turn it into nothing! NOTHING!” The darkness was coming for her catching up… When suddenly she heard a voice… “Heather Dormeur! Wake up! Wake up we’re here!” Heather woke up with her eyes wide open and a face that looked bleak and pale. “Honey are you okay?” Mrs. Dormeur asked. “Ya mom I’m okay I just had this nightmare.” Heather said with a somnolent and a slightly fearful voice. “You sure, your face is really pale and…” “Don’t worry mom, I just got a little car sick… That’s all” “Okay then lets go get ready in the bathroom”Heather was thought about the dream she had of her father, she was very confused and a stormy cloud of melancholy, hatred, and guilt came over her. She had never thought her father had that of her this way. As she got out of the she had noticed that they were at a very old cemetery. The tombstones were covered in this grotesque mold that had grown and the stones looked like mounds of pebbles glued together. The dirt was more like sand, to the touch it was very soft to the touch but very hard to grab. She had entered the convenience store on the other side of the street after seeing where the funeral would take place. She disliked wearing mourning outfits just for the fact that they were only back and so sad to look at, a whole group would just make her cry at the spot. She went back to the cemetery and saw that all of the family on her dad’s side was there. There many that looked depressed naturally, stressed out, there were some plump and slender ones they looked like a very odd bunch of people who you would never guess them to be related. Heather was not paying attention to them though, her mother was greeting them, and she could not help but only look at a picture of her father and feel a lot of displeasure, hatred and love for the man. As she was walking in the funeral service which was in a beautiful garden in the very back of the garden, it was the exact opposite of the cemetery for it flourished with beauty and liveliness, and was trimmed with beautiful flowers such as petunias daffodils and a variety of roses and in the very distant corner there was this pitch black rose in which stuck out but with its distant location no one had noticed, except for Heather. This rose seemed to have been grown in hell for its stem was withered brown and yet the flower itself didn’t fall. The petals were twisted and deformed and there were only about 13 petals and they each had a taint of red on them. The withered stem had exactly 666 miniature thorns which Heather was shocked when she saw it. It was also quite tall and it’s fragrant smelled of a rotting lamb carcass. This rose had an ominous feeling about it, it left the atmosphere around it filled with discomfort, depression, guilt, envy, and other emotions that made a heart blemish its state of contentment. Heather marveled by this mysterious black rose decided it to pick it from the spot and keep it in her coat. A microphone had gone on and old man who looked like the Pope withblack lustrous said. ”We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Lukas Derek Dormeur.” Everyone there turned to a podium in which the man was talking. “Does anybody have a few words to say?” He asked. Mrs. Dormeur went up to the podium and said, “My husband was a great man who lived life without any regrets. He loved everyone he has ever known and showed us what he could do, what his dreams were, he inspired us with persevering to the end and teaching us great lessons about life and how to reach happiness and to maintain it.” Mrs. Dormeur then just crying after the period, she looked like she lost something precious to her, she lost her love and her soul mate. Heather felt that all she said about him was true but it was merely a curtain covering the devil that stayed sanctioned behind a form of what seemed to be her caring father. It was all a cover-up he was a man whose life had been driven by killing those chosen by god to have a life of perfection. She could not help feel the same emotions she felt earlier, she was confused on why she felt like this. Heather was an age that would be ready to be released into the world, she didn’t understand, she was feeling a mixture of pain, sorrow, guilt, and detestation, while the body was put in the soil to rest forevermore. After the service there was some food under a tent of smooth silken fabric. It had pervaded throughout the entire cemetery and the entire area was under a veil of light. Heather in her state of depression and rage could not help but release it. She pushed tables on to the ground smashed glass plates and stomped the food. She ripped off the veil and took a lighter from a man who was smoking outside and burned the entire veil. Finally, Heather had dug up her father grave with her bare hands and burned coffin and his body was burned right there. People panicked as the veil was falling down in flames. Heather just ran, ran as far as she possibly could away from the giant pile of flames in which people were trapped under. She heard screams and cries for help, but Heather could not but just stare and think of the thought that the demon which was her father was exterminated forever, and the memory of him will be long forgotten. She could not help but laugh a maniacal laugh that plagued the air with death. Heather knew this was arson, genocide and many more crimes so she kept running after that brief pause. She never looked back and she just kept running to a future that was untold.
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