Grow My Hair Long

I feel like a hermit….?
No, not really, just feel like I may as well as I get to see people maybe about once a year anyway, and get weird looks from people that I talk to in stores as the only person I talk to for the most part is a 19 mo. old, so my adult social skills are starting to fail.I am taking a couple classes at the local college, however most of the people in my classes have no kids, are really young, and are not married(I have my 19 mo. old, & another one due in july, as well as being married and older). The only people I have seen for the last almost 7 months outside my husband and child are my MIL and FIL(MIL cannot stand me, and makes it very clear that she would rather I wasn’t around so she could have my 19 mo. old and my husband to herself, and FIL just tries to keep MIL happy), my BIL, SIL, and nephew(BIL is like FIL w/ SIL; SIL is MIL’s favorite, and as such, goes out of her way to make sure that MIL is happy, which means being mean to me, and -MIL’s favorite game- ignoring me or treating me like I am just a glorified babysitter for my nephew while they go shopping together). My husband goes and sees friends, and the friends I had, well, aren’t really friends I guess(they either Bye Hair Loss never contact me, or when I contact them, they have better things to do; or in the case of my one “friend”, they make plans, but always cancel at the last second, but still find time to spend time w/ their other friends, just not me). My husband and I were supposed to go to a friend of ours going away party tonight, and MIL was supposed to take care of our child for a couple hours tops so that I could get out and go(as I haven’t been out really or seen anyone in over 6 months). The party was to start at 9pm, and I was really looking forward to going. Then, at 6 this evening, MIL decides “Oh well that’s too late”(after saying she would for almost a week, and after we made it clear to her that we were only planning on staying maybe 30 mins. to an hour tops, then coming home as I would be tired anyway from having an early class this morning). It kills me, b/c if this were my SIL and nephew, she would be chomping at the bit to watch him, but since it is me & my child, it’s just an aggravation(and it’s not like we ask them to watch our child all that often either; maybe once every 2 months when we need to go and do major grocery shopping-like fill the tiny car shopping- and most times not even then). I told my husband to go, so he could say bye to his friend and hang out some. He promised to be home soon, but I don’t look for it to happen as that was part of the reason for me going w/ him(he tends to “lose track of time” and then doesn’t come home until 1am or later).I am about to the point of pulling my hair out from lack of any real interaction. My parents disowned me due to my mother’s mental illness and issues stemming from it(she did not want my dad to have any interaction w/ me or my son b/c it took attention away from her, and she was not happy unless she had every last bit of my father’s attention and his money; there were also a lot of issues stemmed from our first child’s death from SIDS-she blamed & still blames my husband & I, & tells people that we killed our child so she gets attention, she also threatened to take our future children away, told us any children we would ever have would die, etc. ), and any other relatives live out of state.I am at a loss as to what to do & feel as if I am being isolated. I love my child, but I am always the one that ends up taking care of him the majority of the time. I have tried to get a job, but w/ no success. I just don’t know what to do…..
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